BANG! YOU'RE DEAD!

so, i am in the backyard of a friend's house, shooting the breeze, communing with mother nature and, surprise, telling stories...when my phone rang; i did not recognize the number nor the area code.

me: hello.

voice which i also did not recognize: let me ask you a question: if you had a full grown male monkey, how many times during the day could you make the monkey cum by blowing him?

me: how many times could i make him cum?

voice: that's right, full climax, no dry runs.

me: only by blowing him? i can't use, say, manual stimulation?

voice: only by blowing him.

me: hmmmmm.....hmmm......20

voice: i think you are in the ball park; i thought i could get as high as 16 myself.

me: i'm very oral, so i may have a head start on you, so to speak.

voice: (laughs) this is ken rogerson, in case you didn't recognize my voice.

me: (laughs) oh, kenny, i figured out who it was by the synchronicity of the thing: i am sitting here with winston o'roark from catch a rising star and i was just telling her about how you and i met.

winston: oh my god! is that kenny?

me: of course it is.

kenny: hope the cia isn't taping this, i would hate to have to explain all these words.

me: there will be headlines in all the right wing press and on right wing radio: OBAMA SUPPORTERS SUCK MONKEY COCK!!!

and winston o'roark just screamed with laughter.

(my wife said don't post that. i asked why and she said it was obscene and i said, i don't care and then she said it was in bad taste, i said i don't care about that either; is it funny? and she said yes. and there you go.)

winston and i had been talking about ken rogerson right before that phone rang. here is the story i had just finished telling her.

kenny and i first met in 1985 where i was middling for him in birmingham, alabama. it was probably the last time i middled and it was, for sure, the last time i played birmingham. we hit it off immediately, birds of a feather and all.

there is a little side story here; the guy who booked this used me in several of his rooms but only as a middle. i had called him and told him that either start headlining me because i was not going to middle anymore and besides, says i, the headliners you are working can't follow me. i am blowing these hacks off the stage and you want me to fucking middle??? he tells me i have to middle one more time and then he gives me some headliner dates. i tell him, well, i am going to blow whoever your headliner is off the fucking stage, i am going to embarrass him, i am going to clean his clock and so on and so forth.

i was wrong on that, kenny could follow jesus christ, but that is not what this story is about, just a little showbiddness sidebar for you and an example of don't let your alligator mouth....

i digress. back to the story.

for whatever reason and under the influence of whatever drugs we happened to be doing at time in the 80's, rogerson and i decided upon a lifetime pact of that whenever one of us could sneak up on the other one unawares and shoot them with our finger and shouting BANG! the shootee must fall to the ground as if he were shot. once again, why we thought this up, i have nary a clue nor excuse; it just sounded good and had probably come as the result of a 'what if' scenerio story...

that was early in the week and now it is friday evening after the first show. i see rogerson over across the room engaged in sincere conversation with a good looking young woman. being an observer of human nature and a reader of body signals, i deduce that young kenny is putting the move on young lady. i manage to get to a table behind and off to the side so that neither is aware i am there and i can now hear how they are going to meet for lunch and at what time and where. the where is pretty close to our hotel.

you know where this is going by now.

i have hid in the back of the cafe and sure enough here comes ken and the young lady. soon they are engaged in conversation; leaning forward, looking to each other's eyes, the move is on. that smooth ken is obviously working on closing this deal, food is ignored, they have eyes only for each other which explains why they do not see me rapidily approaching. coming up behind kenny, i pull my finger out of my shoulder holster and go BANG! YOU'RE DEAD!

without missing a beat, ken tries to get up, clutches his chest, goes aahhhhggrr, and collapses onto the table tipping it over and spilling the drinks, the meal and crashes to the floor. the girl screams and i run laughing out of the place. he never did get that girl.

but he did get me; fifteen years later. i am working at the trop here in vegas and i am getting ready to go out for the final bow and as i go through the curtain onto the stage, ken has positioned himself right at the edge of the stage where i am to enter and as i hit the stage, he stands up, pulls his finger out of his ankle holster and BANG! YOU'RE DEAD! i, of course, fall to the floor. management was pissed....but they got over it.

and that is one of the many reasons i love being a comic....hanging out with other comics.

p.s. if you ever get a chance to see kenny rogerson...DO IT. he is one of the very few comics i would pay to go see. he is absolutely brilliant and is, in my opinion, one of the best that has ever graced a stage.

are we getting ready to bomb iran?

the ASIAN TIMES reported two days ago that they had information from sources in the bush administration that george w. bush is planning to bomb iran in august. it is supposedly to target the revolutionary guards training camps and the qud barracks. the asian times has been accurate in the past on reporting things that the american press missed.

IF this true, and there is no way of knowing at the present time, it MAY be designed to help the mc cain campaign, putting us into another conflict right before the election and johnny mac can tout his military background to qualify him as president. by the same token, it could backfire against him because the american people (not counting the 28% who still think georgie boy is doing just a super job) are getting tired of war and occupations of foreign lands. either way, it is another unprovoked attack on a country that has done nothing to us. to use iran's support for the iraqi's who are fighting our occupying forces as an excuse to attack them is ludicrous. here, once again, put yourself in their position: let's say china has attacked and occupied canada; do you think that the american government and THE AMERICAN PEOPLE would not do everything in their power to help the canadians fight off the invaders? why then do we get so high and fucking mighty when iran helps the shiites in iraq? we are the invaders. we are the ones who started the war. we are the one's who are tens of thousands of miles away from our homeland. we are the ones from another race, another religion, another color, another system of government who came all the way there with our "shock and awe" air bombings of defenseless cities. we are the ones who blew up the schools (which we are now rebuilding), we are the ones who destroyed the water system, the electrical grid, the roads, the bridges; we are the ones who killed thousands upon thousands of civilians. we hold no high moral ground here.

another attack on another muslim country is just what we need. i have always believed that the vast majority of muslims do not really hate us but they do hate bush but if we bomb iran then we just may get that "war of civilizations" that bush and cheney jack off to at night.

did you see that scott mc clellan has written a book on the white house and how he, scott, was decieved over and over again on the war, the so-called (and highly elusive) weapons of mass destruction, the outing of valery plame as a cia agent (high treason in my book) and the bullshit response to katrina????? it is on my list to read.

write your congressperson. write your newspaper. speak out and speak up. do not let us get in yet another war. become an involved citizen. peace is patriotic.

not big on rules

i went to catholic schools
they were very big on rules
i wasn't

all my life, spring has brought the wanderlust to me. as a child, being bright, i had finished the years school work by march and was bored to death.

come april and may
there was many a day
i wasn't there

once, at ripe old age of 14, i was on the way to catch the bus to take me to school when i crossed over US66 heading west out of oklahoma city. two days later i was in a small town south of amarillo looking for work. i was directed to a farmer who needed help on his wheat harvest. when i got to his place, he asked if i could drive. (i couldn't but, what the hell) i said, of course i can drive. well, says he, take that duece and a half over there and meet me at my north forty and giving me directions to said forty, he left. the truck was a ten speed but as luck would have it, had directions on the sun visor on how to operate it. within an hour i could drive a truck. later on he taught me how to drive a combine and i spent that summer cutting wheat from south texas up to the canadian border.

it was a great summer.
going home was a bummer
i was grounded for life.

the following may
i again ran away
this time it seems
ended up in new orleans

worked as a barker in front of a strip bar on bourbon where i would call out to the passing tourists:

48 double D
biggest pair you'll ever see!

one of the strippers (god bless her tainted soul)
relieved me
of my virginity
in a booth
in back of the bar

pantless, i sat down
sticking straight up
pantless she sat down
guided me into her loving cup.

it was a great summer.

and now i am old but, truth be told
the road still has its hold
and, don't you know
times, i just want to fucking go.



i told rhonda last night that i was feeling that old restlessness that got me in so much trouble when i was younger. now i have to temper my passions and control that lust for the road. i give myself several road trips a year so i can get my fix. what i need to do is schedule myself in some places that i haven't been so i can drive a new road and go to a new town and blow away a new crowd. but for the time being; next month i go to fort worth and arlington and houston and hilton head. in july i am also in hilton head (a two week gig) then back to vegas. in august it is bloomington and louisville and lexington.



sunroof back and windows down
driving from town to town
it is going to be a great summer.

see ya on down the road.

i am an idiot at times!

we learn more from our mistakes in poker than we learn from our wins; however, it seems to me that i would learn it the first time i make the mistake and not make the same fucking mistake again. ..... but i did.

i have a pair of 9's and the flop comes 5h 8h 9c. i have obviously flopped top set. bb bets 15 dollars and the next guy raises to 30 dollars and i raise to 50 dollars and the button calls as does the original bettor (big blind) and the first raiser. the next card is the Qd, check, check, i bet 50 dollars and the button goes all in. bb and other guy both fold. i started the hand 100 up and now i am 50 up and like a fool i call. i know the button has either a. a straight to the queen or a smaller set but i put him on the straight. i should have folded but 4 nines pays 500 dollars and that influenced my decision to go ahead and make the draw for the full house.

now that is not the real mistake...the real mistake was not betting them out on the flop. i saw the draws and instead of just taking the money that was in the pot i got greedy and it cost me. i ended up losing 155 today instead of being up 130. stupid, stupid stupid.

YOU GOTTA BET THEM OUT WHEN THERE ARE OBVIOUS DRAWS AND YOU HAVE THE BEST HAND ESPECIALLY ONE THAT COULD IMPROVE!!!

the straight draw, having no hearts in his hand would have thrown it away for a 100 dollar bet on the flop.

if you won't speak up for your rights, who will?

an article in today's paper written by matt appuzzo of the a.p. snapped me out of my laziness of writting about the bush administration and its attacks on the constitution of the united states.

the constitution was written with the idea of restricting the power of the central government over the citizens. with it's checks and balances, advice and consent and the bill of rights the constitution was written for the citizens. the framers knew the horrors of the powers of an unchecked king and wanted to be sure that those powers were never invested in single person in the united states.

now with that being said, let me go to the article:

ali saleh kahlah al-marri arrived in the united states on sept. 10th, 2001 with his wife and 5 children.

he is a u.s. resident and is being held in a south carolina military brig. he is the only enemy combatant held on u.s. soil instead of being held off shore where geoge w. bush says the constitution "does not apply."

authorities say he is an al-qaida sleeper agent, researching poisonous gasses and plotting a cyberattack.

government lawyers told federal judges BUSH CAN SEND THE MILITARY INTO ANY U.S. NEIGHBORHOOD, CAPTURE A CITIZEN AND HOLD HIM IN PRISON WITHOUT CHARGE, INDEFINITLY.

see, apparently in the minds of the bush-cheney cartel, the constitution doesn't apply here in the united states as well.

al-marri's lawyers say that as long as the president can arrest and detain any citizen any time he wants and hold them without charges for any amount of time NOBODY IS SAFE.

i would say that is accurate, wouldn't you?

now if this guy is guilty of what they say, bring him to trial, convict him and put him in a federal prison and throw away the fucking key.

however: let us look at something that apparently the bush administration either hasn't looked at or has decided (bush is the decider after all) that it doesn't apply to them: it is called the VI admendment.

"in all criminal prosecutions, the accued shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense."

admendment V says, in part, "no PERSON ...be deprived of life, liberty, or prperty, without due process of law."

dr. martin luther king, jr. said, "an injustice to one is an injustice to all."

i say we must start speaking out against those who would strive to deprive any of us of any of the rights granted under our constitution. if you don't speak out, who will?

remember, once again, this man has been accused of "researching" and "plotting", he is not accused of "doing." researching and plotting are nebulous terms and could be used against any of us for any reason if this kind of thing is allowed to go unchecked. he has been locked up now for 7 years and this is the first i, personally, have known about it.

if you won't speak up, who will? who are you counting on to defend your rights? george bush? lots of fucking luck.

A POKER PROBLEM FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

i am in the cut-off with 5 callers already in and i have the Kh, Qh, i cold call and so does the button. 7 people see the flop.

flop is Ah, Th, 9h. i have flopped the nut flush with a draw to the royal.

everyone checks to me and i check. the button bets 15 dollars into a 14 dollar pot and everyone folds back to me. i call.

the turn is the Kd. i check and button bets 20 dollars, i raise to 50 dollars and he calls.

the river is the ace of diamonds pairing the board.

THE QUESTION IS HOW DO I PLAY THIS NOW? THE OBVIOUS WORSE CASE POSSIBILITY IS, OF COURSE, A FULL HOUSE.

more info: my opponent is a middle aged man of indian descent. he has been passive up to now and has dwindled away about 80 dollars of his 200 buy in when this hand happens. by the river he has about 70-74 dollars left.



i will leave this up until i get some response from you players out there.

the politics of fear

i saw where johnny (be afraid, be very afraid) mc cain said that iran was as great a threat to the united states as the soviet union was during the cold war. really? the ussr had the largest army in the history of the world during the cold war, 5.3 million strong. they had tens of thousands of icbm's with nuclear warheads all pointing at the united states. their surface fleet was larger than ours if i remember correctly. they had hundreds if not thousands of submarines a large number of which were nuclear armed. iran has an army of several hundred thousand, no missiles, no nuclear bombs, a navy consisting of speed boats, no submarines, very few tanks and an airforce of aging castoffs from europe and russia. be afraid of iran. hell, johnny, be afraid of your shadow.

hopefully america is tired of the fear campaign of the republicans. we have very few enemies in reality and none of them have the capacity to do anything militarily to us. some suicide maniacs could pull off another 9-11 but it is, in reality, a real long shot that they could succeed. if muslims really hated us there would be more bombings and suicide attacks every day, why? well, because there are over a BILLION muslims in the world and, instead of plotting on how to kill and maim americans, news flash, 99.9% of them want to live in peace, put food on the table, raise their children, get an education and go about their lives....just like us.

rhonda got married when she was in college to a fellow student who just happened to be iranian. when they got divorced, his family more or less disowned him and adopted rhonda and so when i married rhonda i inherited a large persian family. rhonda, in case you didn't know, speaks farsi and a little bit of arabic. i have come to know many from this extended family and they are bright, knowledgable, aware people. the patriarch of the family goes back and forth from iran to america and he and i have had some great conversations about world politics. he says that the vast majority of the persian people like americans and america; it is our current government that frightens them. the president of iran, ahmadinajad (sp), is NOT the official leader of iran. he is more a spokesman and yeilds no real power which is in the hands of a group of religious leaders. the people of iran, many of whom were educated here, are not the fanatics that the republicans portray and are more and more fed up with their own current leadership.

the persians are more naturally our allies in the middle east than any other country other than isreal. they are not arabs but a seperate race, speaking a seperate language. the civilization of persia goes back thousands of years and has contributed greatly to man's knowledge and arts. we should be talking to these people, we should be forming alliances with them, they are not our enemy and they could be our friend.

people here in america are so historically ignorant as to be laughable but, for those of you who didn't know, we, the good old freedom loving america, overthrew the iranian government and installed the shah. when the iranians finally threw that dictator out and took our embassy people hostage is when our government decided that iran was an enemy. why, how dare they throw out our hand picked dictator? how dare they want their own government and not a puppet of the united states? ungrateful bastards.

maybe that is why john mc cain doesn't want anyone talking to the iranians. hell, the truth might come out.

oh, and incidently, ronnie reagan gave arms to the iranians for the hostages. but hey, why quibble about history, johnny, it is always so much easier to play the fear card.

why new orleans was destroyed...according to mc cain supporter

with all the uproar about reverand (i use that term lightly) wright and his rants and the republican response of trying to put his words into senator obama's mouth it would be nice if more newspapers and television stations would air some of john mc cain's "christian" supporters little sayings. to wit:

"all hurricanes are acts of god, because controls the heavens. i believe that new orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to god, and they are--were recipients of the judgment of god for that. the newspaper carried the story in our local area that was not carried nationally that there was to be a homosexual parade there on the monday that katrina came. and the promise of that parade was that it was going to reach a level of sexuality never demonstrated before in any of the other gay pride parades. so i believe the judgment of god is a very real thing. i know there are people who demur from that, but i believe that the bible teaches that when you violate the law of god, that god brings punishment sometimes before the day of judgment. and i believe that the hurricane katrina was, in fact, the judgment of god against the city of new orleans."

JOHN HAGEE, 'MINISTER' OF CHURCH IN SAN ANTONIO AND STAUNCH SUPPORTER OF JOHN MC CAIN.

also jerry falwell and pat robertson both echoed the same thoughts on robertson's television show the 700 club. falwell has gone to meet his maker but pattie boy is still spouting his hate filled version of the prince of peace's teachings. pat supports john mc cain as well.

hagee has since taken back his statement. probably after the mc cain campaign got in touch with him.

once upon a time, when johnny mac was an honorable man, he said that these very same preachers, robertson, falwell, hagee et al, were "agents of intolerance." which they are. in fact, they are, judging by their own words, racists, sexists and homophobics plus being warmongers and, to a man, in favor of capital punishment. does johnny mac refute them now? fuck no. now he is cozying up to them hoping that they and their blind followers will propel him into the white house.

now, let me say that i do not judge john mc cain by john hagee and for sure i do not think that john mc cain thinks god destroyed new orleans because of homosexuals. i do believe that john mc cain has sold out his own principles in order to run for president. i believe that john mc cain would be as huge a disaster as president as gwb is. (if not worse).

mc cain is on obama for saying that he, obama, would talk to the leaders of iran. bush tried to tie obama to the appeasement of hitler in the 30's because he is willing to put diplomacy before military action. goodfuckinggod.

iran is surrounded by enemies; a nuclear china to the northeast, a nuclear russia to the north, a nuclear pakistan to the east, a nuclear india to the east, a nuclear isreal to the southwest, 150,000 american troops on its western border and 30,000 american troops just to the east. and, to top it all off, a madman in the white house who has called that ancient civilization part of the "axis of evil." why should they feel threatened? lol. don't you think a little diplomacy could go a long way towards settling the middle east or do you think that constantly beating the drums of war is the way to go?

on to other things: having a good time here in san antonio; seeing old friends and doing rock and roll shows. a woman, trish, whom i have known for decades but have not seen for over twenty years came to the show last night with her new husband, rick, and it was so good to see her and catch up on all those years of gossip. my buddy, randy, basically runs the room and he and i always have a good time. it is probably best that randy and i live so far apart or we would end up getting in trouble for sure. beer and bar-room brawls would probably be on our agenda. lol.

a man was filing for divorce and when his wife found out she hit him over the head and stuffed him, headfirst, into a vat of acid, killing him. while it is not much relief to him i would say that he was right to divorce her, she seems like a real bitch to me too.

oh well, all for now.

baa baa baa

finally watched CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR and while it is a very good movie it did not show the unintended consequences of wilson's and the cia's actions as far as arming the afghan rebels to fight the russians. it also did not show just how vicious and barbaric the afghan tribesman can be. if you saw the movie i strongly recommend that you read the book to get a fuller picture.

still reading JOHN ADAMS. it is taking so long because it is something to be savored; i reread whole chapters just so it will really sink in. i have said this before but these men were giants. i truly believe that if adams, jefferson, franklin, madison, washington et al were alive today and see what we have done they would be absolutely disgusted. they would probably refer us to these words in the declaration of independence:

"....to secure these rights governments are institued among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed; that WHENEVER ANY FORM OF GOVERNMENT BECOMES DESTRUCTIVE OF THESE ENDS, IT IS THE RIGHT OF THE PEOPLE TO ALTER OR TO ABOLISH IT, AND TO INSTITUTE NEW GOVERNMENT, LAYING ITS FOUNDATION ON SUCH PRINCIPLES, AND ORGANIZING ITS POWERS IN SUCH FORM, AS TO THEM SHALL SEEM MOST LIKELY TO EFFECT THEIR SAFETY AND HAPPINESS. PRUDENCE, INDEED, WILL DICTATE THAT GOVERNMENTS LONG ESTABLISHED SHOULD NOT BE CHANGED FOR LIGHT AND TRANSIENT CAUSES; AND ACCORDINGLY ALL EXPERIENCE HATH SHOWN THAT MANKIND ARE MORE DISPOSED TO SUFFER, WHILE EVILS ARE SUFFERABLE THAN TO RIGHT THEMSELVES BY ABOLISHING THE FORMS TO WHICH THEY ARE ACCUSTOMED. BUT WHEN A LONG TRAIN OF ABUSES AND USURPATIONS, PURSUING INVARIABLY THE SAME OBJECT, EVINCES A DESIGN TO REDUCE THEM UNDER ABSOLUTE DEPOTISM, IT IS THEIR RIGHT, IT IS THEIR DUTY, TO THROW OFF SUCH GOVERNMENT AND TO PROVIDE NEW GUARDS FOR THEIR FUTURE SECURITY.

but they were men and today we are sheep.

rome, greece, babylonia, persia, france, england, portugal, spain, germany, russia, mongolia, egypt and others too many to list all failed because their empire became involved in foriegn wars and bankrupted the home country. they failed because of arrogance, because of pride, because of greed, because of the blindness of their leaders to the problems of the people and eventually their empires crumbled. sound familiar?

listen! can you hear the baaing coming out of washington? the bleating? baa baa baa. and, brothers and sisters, it is you and i who will be sheared.

a gas tax holiday!!!! to offer up something that has no chance of being brought into reality and even if it did would amount to nothing at all is a perfect example of the crap that presents itself as leadership in america today. the gas tax holiday would cost the government (that is you and i) billions of dollars that would have been earmarked for road repairs which means that even more people would be out of work. this is what george washington mc cain and ms. john adams clinton have in mind for us? surely they are fucking kidding, right? wrong. no, they are pandering. they are being gutless fucking wonders instead of the leaders we need.

the so-called "housing crisis" was fueled by greed and stupidity and now we should spend billions of dollars to bail the stupid and greedy out? gutless fucking wonders. not only was it caused by greed and stupidity, it was obvious to anyone with any sense whatsoever that it was coming and still no words of caution came out of washington, came out of the newspapers, came out of any pundits on tv or radio. and now it is "ohhh, what are we to do?" "oh, poor us" give me a fucking break.

baa baa baa


off to san antonio tomorrow. on wed. morning in s.a. i will be on tv, KENS the "great day san antonio" show.

RIP LSD

albert hofmann died yesterday and i wish him a pleasant journey into the afterlife for because of his discovery of lsd i am the man i am today. lsd changed my life. prior to taking it, i was a shit bag, i lied, i cheated, i stole, i was greedy, i used other people and other faults too many to mention. it made me see me as i really was and because of that clarity of sight i didn't like what i saw and set out to change it. and did.

having said that, let me also say that i would not recommend lsd to anyone (other than me) because it can, and will, take you to places that you did not know existed. you would see things that you did not know where there, but they are. most people (99%) cannot handle these revelations and this could cause mental trama unlike anything you have ever known nor that i could ever describe. let me also say (for all you narcs out there) that i do not use lsd anymore and haven't since the 70's and probably wouldn't in todays world because almost all of the psycadellic (sp) drugs today are made in back yard factories whereas what i took was the lsd25 straight from sandoz in switerland. i wouldn't want to trust my mind to some backyard chemist.

a little drug story: my first lsd experience was in sydney, australia and we were in an apartment close to king's cross. i could feel the drug coming on and thought it would be best if i used the bathroom now because there was a possibility i would be unable to navigate the path later on. after i finished my business, i am washing my hands and look up into the mirror above the sink and instead of me looking back at me there is a skull. the skull says to me, "why are you frightened? this is what you are, you know." that is when i knew this is a different kind of drug.

the grand funk railroad story is true and was seen by two other people. (for those of you who do not know what i am talking about it is from the oral roberts 900 foot jesus routine...buy the cd)

on to something else: yesterday while driving home i am going through the radio dial trying to find the basketball game when i came across something called, "the savage nation". the host was talking to a listener and this is what he said, (this is pretty close to word for word) "the aclu has been trying for years to get the age of sexual consent down to twelve years old. the aclu is also trying to get libraries to stock child pornography available for all to see and you know why? because the people who work at libraries are all perverts." his listener said, "absolutely!" you know, it is hard to get three lies into such a short period of time. unfuckingbelievable. obviously, the host, whose name must be savage, and his listeners don't go to libraries...they have books in there, you know. and god forbid, a good rightwinger shouldn't read books. unless, of course, they are from the mental giant, anne coulter.

oh, and incidently, i am a dues paying, card carrying member of the ACLU. and because i am, i support savage's right to lie on the airways.

a shout out to two couples we met in new orleans: joe and andrea from long island and steve and dana from arkansas. you all are cool people and it was a real pleasure meeting you. (and, andrea, if i misspelled your name, i apologize...i am a terrible speller and too lazy to look words up.)

won big at the tables yesterday and hope to do the same today, so closing for now.

thoughts of new orleans

back from jazz fest and we had an absolutely wonderful time. there were 400,000 people there this year which was an increase of almost 100,000 from last year and, as far as we could tell, a good time was had by all. there were so many wonderful sights, sounds, tastes, expiences and people that i am almost at a loss for words to even come close to describing them all. here are some that stuck in my mind:

where we stayed: OLD TOWN INN on north rampart just off elysian fields. what a great place! an old inn that used to have stables, it was run by incredibly nice people who treated their customers as if they really were "guests", even to throwing a crawfish boil on friday night for everyone. they put out 200 pounds of crawfish for our enjoyment along with spicy corn on the cob; it was great. i am going to link my sight with theirs so, if you are ever going to new orleans, try these guys, they are reasonable, comfortable, just off the quarter and walking distance to clubs, restuarants and shops.

the people: everyone, and i mean EVERYONE, we had any interaction with in new orleans was as nice and polite as anyone could wish. the most common phrase we heard was, "thanks for coming!" from the people at the hotel, the ones at the festival, the bus drivers, the cabbies, the waiters, the storepeople, the ones we met on the street ...all were full of life, full of fun and all were helpful in any way they could be.

we are in a cab heading to the festival with a rather old mullato cab driver and the conversation gets around to katrina and he tells us that he and his wife were on the roof of their house and the water was still rising. he says, "now i am not worried for myself, 'cause i can swim jest a litl' bit and da house across da street is taller dan ours and i tink i can make it but my wife, now she dont swim atall and i dont tink i can get her and me over dere. so i says to her, 'honey, wat we gonna do if dey water comes any higher?' and she says, 'well, baby it's been a good life." they are moving back into their house, which they rebuilt themselves, this summer.

we saw art and aaron neville do their first show since katrina. in the gospel tent, they sang "do you know what it means to miss new orleans" and followed that up with "just a closer walk with thee". people were openingly crying. me too.

rhonda and i are in the quarter and go to DICKIE BRENNEN'S BOURBON HOUSE on the corner of iberville and bourbon for brunch. we order the special but about two minutes later the manager, christie, comes over and tells us that because of the huge crowd they had they had run out of the special (eggs benedict) and what else could they get us? i tell her that wow, i really had my heart set on a breakfast so let us think about it for a moment. she comes back right away and says that the chef said that he would whip us up something if we were willing to just wait a few minutes. well, okay. they then serve us up a magnificent breakfast of oysters on the half shell, poached eggs and their own bacon over grit cakes made with sausage. for desert, the chef made us his own recipe, strawberry with white chocolate bread pudding that was heavenly, the best i have ever had. we rave about it so much that he comes out and has coffee with us and they charged us less than we would have payed for ONE of the specials. where else in the world would that have happened at a five star restuarant?

stevie wonder in the rain along with maybe 30,000 people.

the second day of the festival, rhonda decides that she is too tired to go so anne and i go by ourselves. we are no sooner in than my phone rings and it is rhonda who says she feels much better and is coming down but i have walked off with her money and her credit cards so i have to go back to the entrance to somehow get them to her without leaving the festival which would cost me another 50 dollars. i get over by the gate and explain to the security guard, an old black man, the situation and he tells me that i can put go over to the fence and hand her the money. while i am waiting for her, he and i start talking about new orleans and when he finds out that i had lived there he sneaks rhonda in for free. i tip him 20 dollars and off we go.

"where the light and dark folks always meet" i do so love the people of new orleans.

steve riley and the mamou playboys. zydeco music at it's finest, every song in french, every song was beautiful beyond words.

rhonda and i are walking around the festival and it is hot that day so we go into the KID'S TENT to get in the shade and take a load off our feet. there are maybe 40 people in there, most with kids and the band, an almost all women band (that is how they promote themselves, an almost..) is playing "hookie pookie" and kids are dancing with their parents in front of the stage. this goes on for about ten minutes but when it ends the band goes into SUMMERTIME with I FEEL LIKE A MOTHERLESS CHILD intertwined and the two singers go back and forth. it was maybe the single best rendition of any song i have ever seen in person! amazing. stunning. uplifting. the audience was enthralled beyond words. rhonda says when it is over, "they start their kids out right here, don't they?"

i do so love new orleans.

not that it doesn't have some drawbacks; it has always been a corrupt state and a corrupt city. to quote the head of the FBI in new orleans, "i am from boston and we have the mob up there and they steal the cream off the top; here in new orleans they not only steal the cream, they take the milk as well and then they go looking for the cow."

louisiana: where half the state is under water and the other half is under indictment.

i do so love new orleans anyway. the people are the best in america and the politicians the worst. but hey, fuck a bunch of politicians anyway.

thanks for reading me. thanks for coming out and seeing me. thanks for thinking i am funny.



anyway, that is all for now.