bless the bad players and may they keep on coming

ah, did i say oklahoma? must have meant florida, no wait, texas, west virginia? what a saturday of college football, the dogs ran wild! now it looks like usc and lsu but both of them struggled and did not cover the spread, should be a great season of ncaa football.

leave again this coming week for huntsville and chattanooga but then i am off until thanksgiving week. cannot tell you how good it is to be home and eat home cooking and sleep in my own bed. while the 9 weeks on the road went exceptionally well, it wore me out and to tell the truth am not looking forward to getting on a plane again but will go rock and roll and trot out my new stuff.

have played the last two days and won over a hundred both days. i am convinced that the fools come to the 1-2 no limit games, i watch people make some of the most incredibly bad plays and literally give their money away. their biggest mistake is not raising enough with the big pairs and letting mulitple people get in the pot. when you have more than 3 opponents with your pair of aces and if an ace does not come on the flop you are a underdog most of the time and end up getting the aces cracked. (and that always hurts) today i was at a table where 5-7 callers was the norm; i was on the bb and 6 people had called when the button raised to 20 dollars. i look down and lo and behold two red aces. there is now 34 dollars in the pot. i raise another 40 dollars on top of the 20 button raise. everyone folds and i take the money. in my book that is much better than letting any one other than the button call and as it turns out, he folded as well. my theory is "that is my money out there in the pot and i want it right now!" i know that there are many good players who would disagree with me and i understand their point of going for the huge pot instead of taking the money right now but my way is my way and is the way i will continue to play. i am in it for the long run, the game goes on forever and when i am home i am at the tables most every day; i look to win 3-800 dollars per week and am quite glad to get 30 or 40 dollars at a time because at the end of the year it adds up to thousands upon thousands and that is a nice little supplement to my and my wife's income.

home prices keep going down and all the people who bought early in the cycle and thought they were going to make a small fortune on their house are now unable to sell. i have said this before, but i believe you buy a house to live in and not as something you plan on selling anytime in the near future. any property of any value at all will go up over the long run but if you are looking to make a quick killing you can get burned badly. once again, it is the last fool in line theory.

another result of the rapid rise in home prices is that many people are now priced out of the market and will be forced to rent even longer than they had planned. when home prices double or triple in a few years but incomes don't then we run the risk of becoming even more of a nation of the haves and the have-nots. when you have just average 3 bedroom homes going for 400,000 dollars who in the middle class can afford that? greed is coming back to bite us in the ass.

well, i am just ranting and repeating things i have said before so i will now say good-bye.

rush is the real phoney.

rush limbaugh said on his show that any members of the armed services who wants the usa to pull out of iraq are "phoney soldiers." this is from a man who NEVER was in any branch of the service. like bush and cheney, two others who went to many extremes to keep their precious little asses out of harm's way, rush is quick to beat the drums of war but reluctant to serve. just recently, 7 members of the 82nd airborne (a phoney outfit if there ever was one) wrote a co-op feature for the new york times where they stated that they felt, as combat soldiers, that this was a war we should not be in. within a week, two of those brave men were killed in combat. would rush like to tell their grieving parents that their sons where "phoney"? to think that there still are some people who not only listen to this man but take him seriously just goes to prove that "you can fool some of the people all of the time." rush ought to stick to talking about pain pills, he knows something about that. (of course, before he got busted he said that anyone who took pain pills were "drug addicts" and deserved no mercy...his story changed...)

the salt lake city gig at mo's grill was a real hoot. crowds were great, shows were great, free food and a nice hotel. hellava deal. will probably do it again sometime. i got some good write-ups in the City Paper and in Harp magazine. am off for about a week before i go off to chattanooga and huntsville. it will be nice to sleep in my own bed and cuddle with my wife. also will get in some serious playing with my dogs who were joyous to see me when i pulled in today. a excited great dane is something to see!

the guy in utah who made the little girl (14!) "marry" her cousin against her will deserves some serious prison time. using his so-called authority to "allow" one of his "followers" to literally rape that little girl. jesusfuckingchrist! put this motherfucker away for a couple of decades. and the cousin too. just another example of evil done in the name of god. lordy lordy.

the weather in vegas is neigh on to perfect here in vegas and will remain so for several months. eat your hearts out.

last night in salt lake

another show, another standing ovation here in salt lake city. (every show has had a standing o) and tonight is my last night here. i cannot say enough about how receptive these audiences have been. while there may not be many "liberals" in salt lake, those who have come to my shows have been very cool and very bright.

"just place it against your forehead!" says the ad. it does not say just what benefit you will get from placing it against your forehead, just to do it. brilliant. buy this and place it against your head. then look in the mirror. a fool will look back.



okay, i was wrong about the dodgers, they have gone into the tank in the second half of the season. oh well, wait until next year. i have switched to the cubs for the playoffs. maybe this is the year they get back to the world series. panilla has done a great job there but i really don't think they can make it all the way but, what the hell, we can dream. go cubs.

well, this has been a rather mundane post but what the hell, glad to be here.

ahmadinejad and the republicans.

not only do i think that mahmoud ahmadinejad should be allowed to speak at colleges and universities here in the united states i think his comments should be published in full in american newspapers. i also think that any messages that osama bin laden releases should also be published in full here. why? because more than anything, we are in a war of ideas and we cannot win unless we know exactly what people on the other side are saying. besides, there is the POSSIBILITY that bin laden or even ahmadinejad have something to say that has merit. we act as if we, the united states, never do anything wrong, that our ideas, and ours only, have unquestionable merit. it would be very helpful if the american people could read just what other people think of us and why they think that way. when a country is afraid of ideas from elsewhere then that means that their own ideas are built on such a shakey foundation that they will not stand up to the light of day and it seems we are afraid of our critics.

on the same topic, the republican canidates for president, rudy g., john mac, milt r., fred t., and tom t. all refused to speak at the presidental forum at morgan state university. they all claim to have previous commitments. bullshit! this has been on the schedule for months and is one of the major forums for canidates to address concerns and questions from the black community.
while the democrats are more than willing to speak to the black and hispanic communities the republicans want only to talk to white people. the univision republican debate was cancelled because only mc clain was willing to appear. apparently ahmadinejad has more balls than the republicans do; at least he was willing to appear before a hostile audience. the republicans running not only have no ideas they have no courage.

bill o'reilly was surprised that a black run restuarant in new york was "just like any other" and that the black people there did not say "hey motherfucker where is my ice tea." is he a racist? of course he is. unfuckingbelievable. fair and balanced o'reilly. republicans love him. but then again, they don't speak to blacks either.

did the escape story last night and i now have a new long bit. it went just great! the audiences here, while small, are as receptive as any comic could wish.

this and that, nothing of any importance...

wow! what a show last night at Mo's Grill in downtown salt lake city. (see comment #1 on previous post) sometimes these kind of gigs are the very best. a little grill and music club with a ten o'clock show on a sunday night, packed house, mostly young people and we just rocked. yajustneverknow.

do have to tell you though, i will be glad when this trip is finally over, i am starting to get a little road weary here, folks. the towns and hotels are beginning to run together, this morning i woke up and was not sure just where i was.....

HOW ABOUT DEM UNLV RUNNING REBELS! 27-0! we have now matched our win total from last year. i and the rest of the rebel fans would be tickled pink if we were to win a total of 5 games this year. i think they will beat sdsu, colo. state and maybe air force which would do it.

you heard it here first: oklahoma vs. lsu for national championship. i don't see either team losing a game during the regular season; they are both loaded on both sides of the ball.

the more i listen to the debates, the more i am leaning towards obama. i think he is the least corrupt of the group. richardson would make a good vp nominee and with obama at the top of the ticket i think they would swamp whomever the republicans throw at them. most republicans that i talk to are quite unhappy with their choices and i don't blame them. rudy is slightly crazy and has way too much baggage and fred is a lazy fool. the others, gee what can i say, 3 of them don't believe in evolution! my fucking god.

hey to scotty may. maybe this coming year we will put together a show for the MERRY BLUESTERS and get it on film before i hang 'em up. have talked to a couple of club owners. as i said in an earlier post, i am winding down my club dates and moving into speaking tours. (well, that is the plan, such as it is, for right now....the book is coming along but slowly.)

glad to be back blogging, see you guys later....

i am back

now in salt lake city, having arrived here from vancouver last night. the comedy festival was very cool and i got to see some old buddies from back in "the day" when comedy ruled. the first show i did was the "pot" show, THE BAKED SALE and it was at the YALE THEATER which sounds impressive but it is a music club and not a theater. i did the WGDS but it was mediocre at best. i should have done "die anyway" and knew that in my heart when i went up. the audience was situated where wham bam comedy was going to work much, much better than 'stories.' what happened was that i felt obligated to do the wgds because that is the material that got me up there. my old friend, tom markwalter, who is now with omni-pop, pitched me to the festival strictly on that story. in retrospect, it was a tactical mistake on my part and i should have gone with my instincts because i would have killed and then who cares what i did not do, what i did do worked... the next night i did a "guest set" at a comedy club out in the suburbs for both the first and second show and did newspaper stories in first show and die anyway in second and just blew the room away....the owner wants to book me which is, of course, the proof of the blowing...

so, sorry mike. we will have to get that film somewhere else.

sarasota went great, every show smoked. the crowds in sarasota are second only to san francisco for sophistication and aprreciation of the art of storytelling. they are, on the average, older and more "well-to-do" without being republicans than most clubs that i play. brett butler would describe them as liberals with platinum american express cards. they have read books recently and are aware of the world around them. it is a joy performing for them. they are not the "rock and roll" clubs of, say, fort worth (which is great in it's own way) but, to keep with the music analogy, more of blues and jazz. i did "ham and cheese", "jan and howard", dinosars, oral roberts, catholics, mortal and venial sin, car chase story and other long stories which i don't normally get to do.

i am going to do a new story this week in salt lake city which is "how i escaped from l. a. county jail." yeah, yeah, i know....everybody has done that but i did it with some real style. i have never told this story on stage but, while it lacks, at least at this time, a great punch line at the end, it is a great story and i have told it recently to several people and they encouraged me to try it on stage.

here is my CONSPIRACY THEORY of the week: this in regards to the israeli air strike against syria a couple of weeks ago.

israeli fighter bombers attacked "something" in syria.

syria complains to united nations but also says that their air defenses drove the israeli planes off and no target was hit.

since then neither israel nor syria has made any official statements. none.

bush flatly refused to answer any questions about it.

rumors are swirling about what the target was: nuclear materials from north korea, weapons destined for hazballeh, a weapons plant, etc, etc. none has been confirmed nor denied other than north korea said that they did not and will not supply nuclear materials to syria.

here is what i think happened.... it is all a sham and israel, syria and the united states are all in it. there was no real raid. oh, the planes flew into syria and dropped some bombs on probably empty desert and they did that so all radar in the area would record it whether they were ground or space based.

israel gets to show iran that they are willing to risk war to bomb what they percieve to be a threat to them.

syria gets to make iran think that they, syria, just might have nuclear weapons which would make tehran think twice about attacking either syria or waging some kind of retaliation against the sunnis of iraq.

while syria is, on paper, a ally of iran, when it comes to the iraq situation the schism of religion seperates them for all time; syria is sunni and iran is shiitte and the twain shall never meet, at least not in the hot sands of the middle east where religious hatred and warfare goes back almost a thousand years. syria does not want a right wing shiitte state on their bordor. they must keep iranian influence as weak as possible in iraq.

the united states get both of the above and has another card to play in bush's game of "middle east mucking about" against iran.

syria and israel have been "at war" for going on 40 fucking years. methinks that they have become indespensible enemies to each other. the israeli politicians can always bring up the syrian boogyman to scare the people into doing what they, the politicians, want. and the same goes for the syrian strongman in power. he cracks down on his own people and then tells them that he is doing it to save them from israel. (sounds just like bush don't it? dictators all have the same tactics).

the united states also gets to send message to north korea that we will look the other way if israel attacks or bombs anyone in the middle east that does nuclear business with north korea.

the dictators and the right wing politicians of the middle east all benefit from continious conflict in the area as long as it does not go into all out war. dictators stay in power by scaring their people with "evil empires" that are lurking out there and whom only the dictator can keep away.

if israel really had information about nuclear weapons or the ability to build them in syria they would make it public.

if syria really was bombed they would present the evidence to the world court.

if the united states really wanted peace in the middle east they would ......

the world is on fire
and
rats are running down the telephone wire

so there you go, i am back.

TRUST THE MILITARY?

i read an article about how americans, while not trusting the president nor congress, do trust the "military." it goes on to say how in vietnam times the american people "blamed" the military as well as the administration (s) for our southeast asia debacle. now it seems that people want to go out of their way to say they "trust" the troops. the problem with this attitude is that people are confusing the troops with the commanders. a soldier has to obey all lawful orders and has signed a sacred contract to defend our constitution from all enemies both foriegn and domestic. what about the people who are issuing those orders? the generals who have toed the party line and issued false report after false report? the generals who have covered up the abuses in our secret prisons, the murders of civilians, the levels of violence? the "troops" don't issue those reports, the commanders do. the troops are the ones dying and being maimed as a result of stupid moves by their commanders and the neo-cons in the white house. only generals who agree with the "decider" get to stay in command, ones who disagree are shunted off into obscurity. let me be clear: I DON'T TRUST THE MILITARY AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU. ask pat tillman's family if they trust the military. nothing against the men and women who have "boots on the ground", they are, for the most part, honorable and are doing their duty. they deserve our respect and our gratitude but if you want to support them, bring them home.

how many generals have died in iraq? how many full bird colonels? the brass are either here in the states or in the "heavily fortified green zone" and not out in the field with the common grunts. they aren't military leaders they are political pawns and they are sacrificing their troops to advance their careers. they are "going along to get along." they are not to be trusted.

on to other things: i could be wrong but i really don't think michigan deserved their number 5 rating in the preseason polls.

congrats to the unlv football team for playing such a competive game against a top ten opponent. they were a 26 point underdog and barely lost. way to go. very few defeats are "good" but this one qualifies, hope they build on it and win 3 to 5 more games this year.

this atlanta club gets better and better each time i am here. we have had some great shows here and apparently i have quite a little fan base here since in both shows last night better than half the people had seen me before and i took requests in both shows. (as far as i know, i am one of the very few comics who do that)

incidently, there are some out there who really don't like me...see comments on previous post. oh well, fuck 'em.

the top goes down and so does senator craig

now in atlanta, coast to coast comedy tour with sarasota next and then vancouver for the comedy festival up there, then to salt lake city. i am racking up those frequent flyer miles!

when i fly and rent a car i almost always get the smallest, cheapest car but this time i rented a mustang convertable for this two week trip. much better. reminds me why i have always loved rag tops, having owned quite a few including 4 alfa romero's. open road, top down, stoned, music on, no better way to travel. weather is nice and i have several days off before i go down to sarasota so i may take mr. mustang over to the coast and see savannah again, it is such a trippy little town, beautiful and quaint and full of american history. besides i know a great restuarant on an island right off the coast there. fresh seafood and crab cakes all with a southern flair.

if you want to see me at a comedy club better do it in the next several months because i think i am going to be cutting back quite a bit on my road trips in 08. i need to finish the book and rhonda just got a big raise so we don't need for me to work all of the time. probably nothing other than one or two gigs in the first quarter and nothing at all next summer. going to spend my time writing and playing poker. my friend, eric lambert, wants to book me on a college speaking tour which would pay much more than the clubs do and i think i have a message that college kids need to hear. too many times in young lives, people are quite adament about telling them just what they should do with their life and i want to tell them that they themselves should be the sole decider about how they spend their time here on earth and to find that thing that they truly love and do it. the Creator provides every thing with the ability to be itself in its fullest. the thing you love is the thing you will do well and if you are doing that thing which you were created to do, then you will be taken care of. i am living proof of this. while it may sound mystical or, god forbid, "new age", it is actually something that i have spent the last 35 years of my life studying and contemplating and i believe i can prove my hypothisis to anyone with an open mind. it is easier to get young people to understand than older people; why? because the older we get the more we think we know and, i am here to tell you, most of what we think we know is wrong but it is much harder to convince someone in their 40's or 50's of this because they have so much of their life invested in their beliefs. while i started anew in my 40's when i finally came to the conclusion that i had been wrong about almost everything, it is very difficult to do at a late age. not impossible, just difficult. i have almost given up on trying to teach what i know to anyone over 30. it seems that people would rather stay unhappy and unfulfilled than to examine their core beliefs with an open and critical mind. they just know they are right even when all the evidence points to them being wrong. it is that 'old dog--new tricks' syndrome.

oh well, will save this particular sermon for the book.

just what did senator craig hope to accomplish in a very public restroom by tapping his foot, touching the foot of the person next to him and then moving his hand back and forth under the divider? what could he possibly have done in that very public restroom? apparently it did not have a "glory hole" (and if you don't know what that means.....i don't want to be the one who tells you) so how did he expect to get 'anything' done? was he trying to get someone to go with him to somewhere else? so that they could get blown by a senator? maybe so, they (the senators and representatives) are all fucking us anyway. what a trip, to get blown by a senator.
even i haven't had that. (i did get a blow job by a female cop but that is not in the same ballpark)

my college pick of the week: tennesse to cover against southern mississsippi.

dodgers are not out of it yet. will watch them tonight against the giants and old giant bubble head himself, b. bonds. what exercise did he do that added to the size of his head? hmmm

i wonder if hillary gives good head. bet she does.

california dreaming

punch line comedy club in sacramento is one of the premier clubs in america. the thing about working here or in san francisco is that i get literate, aware, book-reading, reference-getting, well behaved and to use an old but accurate word, "hip" audiences. they are not rowdy nor drunk. they, because of the san francisco comedy scene, know the difference between "hack" and "original." it is a pleasure to work here and they bring out the best of my stuff. i am not hesitant to launch into a long and detailed story because i know they have the wheretofore to follow and understand and get.

people in other parts of the united states like to make fun of california but let me tell you what, this is the most civilized of our big states. (vermont, new hampshire and maine are very civilized but, hell, no one lives there) not only that, the natural beauty of california is unmatched; from the stunning views of big sur to yosimite national park, the farm lands of the central valley to the beaches of san diego, deserts, mountains, forests, giant rocks rising out of the ocean and redwood trees rising up to the sky, california is so full of natural wonders that you could spend years just going and "seeing" it. it has problems as does every state but seems to work harder to solve them instead of just saying "well, what can we do?" while they may go overboard in some cases it looks to me as though whatever mistakes are made they are at least made with good intentions, trying to help the citizens, trying to do the "right" thing.

every year, come january, people all over the country watch the rose bowl parade in los angeles and they happen to notice that it bright and sunny and the temp is in the upper 70's or low 80's and then they look out their window at the snow and sleet and say, "mrytle, fuck, let's move to california."

i love california. while i can't afford to live here (and that is one of it's biggest problems) i do like coming over and tasting it's sweet and bitter fruit (to quote the stones).

if you have never been here, do yourself and favor, and come on out, spend some time in san francisco, surf in san diego, see the madness of L.A., boat around lake tahoe, smoke a doobie at big sur and watch the sun set over the pacific. see if you don't like it too.