Shock Thoughts

The San Francisco Chronicle called Ron Shock one of the greatest American storytellers.
He has been called one of the best comics who ever walked on a stage by his peers.
This man will take your mind on a wild ride. Enjoy !!!

Name:
Location: Las Vegas

This is Ron's spot for an ongoing dialog with the world. Updated as frequently as you need...

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

not big on rules

i went to catholic schools
they were very big on rules
i wasn't

all my life, spring has brought the wanderlust to me. as a child, being bright, i had finished the years school work by march and was bored to death.

come april and may
there was many a day
i wasn't there

once, at ripe old age of 14, i was on the way to catch the bus to take me to school when i crossed over US66 heading west out of oklahoma city. two days later i was in a small town south of amarillo looking for work. i was directed to a farmer who needed help on his wheat harvest. when i got to his place, he asked if i could drive. (i couldn't but, what the hell) i said, of course i can drive. well, says he, take that duece and a half over there and meet me at my north forty and giving me directions to said forty, he left. the truck was a ten speed but as luck would have it, had directions on the sun visor on how to operate it. within an hour i could drive a truck. later on he taught me how to drive a combine and i spent that summer cutting wheat from south texas up to the canadian border.

it was a great summer.
going home was a bummer
i was grounded for life.

the following may
i again ran away
this time it seems
ended up in new orleans

worked as a barker in front of a strip bar on bourbon where i would call out to the passing tourists:

48 double D
biggest pair you'll ever see!

one of the strippers (god bless her tainted soul)
relieved me
of my virginity
in a booth
in back of the bar

pantless, i sat down
sticking straight up
pantless she sat down
guided me into her loving cup.

it was a great summer.

and now i am old but, truth be told
the road still has its hold
and, don't you know
times, i just want to fucking go.



i told rhonda last night that i was feeling that old restlessness that got me in so much trouble when i was younger. now i have to temper my passions and control that lust for the road. i give myself several road trips a year so i can get my fix. what i need to do is schedule myself in some places that i haven't been so i can drive a new road and go to a new town and blow away a new crowd. but for the time being; next month i go to fort worth and arlington and houston and hilton head. in july i am also in hilton head (a two week gig) then back to vegas. in august it is bloomington and louisville and lexington.



sunroof back and windows down
driving from town to town
it is going to be a great summer.

see ya on down the road.

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