melancholia of the road

the more i think about it, the more mc cain's choice of palin smacks of desperation and, of course, a large dose of hypocracy. mc cain said that the only qualification for his vice president would be "being ready to take over the presidency." yeah right, he has spent millions upon millions of dollars running commercials claiming that obama was too young and too inexperienced to be president and now he gives us a cheer leader? she was a mayor of a tiny town and now is the guv of a tiny state (population wise...i know how big alaska is). as guv of alaska she never ever ever had to worry about budgets or budget shortfalls because the state government of alaska is awash in money from the oil companies. i don't know anything about the town she mayored in but it had 7,000 people. incidently, when she was elected to governor she got 115,000 total votes or just a bit more than were in the stands when obama spoke in denver.

if johnny mc same is looking to get disgruntled hillary clinton voters i doubt that this choice will do him any good whatsoever and just could be the tilting point to move more and more independents over to the democratic side. we shall see.

after sacramento i go off to atlantic city and then back home for a week then back out again. while i love the driven road, i am not all that fond of the flying road. other than the shows themselves the towns are lonely and oddly sad. a form of melancholia overtakes me out here sometimes that i find very hard to shake. maybe it just that endless hotel hallway that gets me down; all of you who travel know the hallway of which i speak.

thoughts of those who have passed away; friends and family, running buddies and lovers, wives and sister and brother and, of course, mom and dad.

oh well, peace and love for all of us.

a new day has dawned

if you are unsure about barrack obama for president i urge you to sit down and, by yourself, watch his speech from last night. it was one of the best speeches i have ever heard and could very well be the best speech since dr. king's "i have a dream" of 63. the symbolism of his speech on the anniversary of dr. king's is compelling.

i went to my first civil rights protest in 1957 in little rock, arkansas when those 9 little girls were escorted into central high by national guard troops. i and two of my friends had hitchhiked from subiaco to l.r. now, 51 years later, a man of mixed race could very well be our next president.

in the army my best friend was black and i and he lived in harlem for 6 months while we attended a specialized school at fort momouth, n.j. i had a torrid affair with a black woman (who sang back up for james brown...how "soul" is that?) and have, over the years, counted many black men and women as close friends. i know that they today are filled with pride and gratitude.

i see where the republicans are thinking about moving their convention back because of gustav threatening new orleans; they don't want those images, so reminiscent of katrina, to be shown while they are trying to convince americans that they, the republicans, care about them.

mc cain choosing a woman, and an unknown one at that, is quite a move on his part but will open up an argument for the democrats: that if the republicans say that obama doesn't have the experience to be president and yet, a 73 year old man with cancer choses a woman who has only 2 years of experience at running a state and a state unlike any other in oh so many ways. regardless of the outcome, we will have a man of mixed race or a woman in the excutive branch and that is quite a milestone for our country. old barriers are coming down and that is good for all of us.

rhonda is still quite stiff from the accident and the nerve that runs from the butt down the leg is still bothering her. she says that at times it is like a knife going down her leg. she is going to rehab and it is working to a degree....i will keep you.

i look forward to the debates and in those, mc same is going to look so bad in comparison to obama that it could be laughable. gov. palin is going to have a hard time with joe biden who is the best democrat to have in a rough and tumble campaign.

as i incorporate all this new material my shows have been some of the best, if not the best shows i have ever done. another s.o. last night from a fairly small crowd.

i am working on a t-shirt for a tour next year that has the theme of "peace is a shock to the system." we have such a war economy that peace would be so different as to change american society. politicians, especially on the right but not inclusive to them, want us to fear others, to fight nefarious wars to "protect us" from vaguely defined dangers. you want to stop islamic terrorism? get our troops out of the middle east. quit threatening nations. quit invading nations. (it is wrong when russia does it but not we do it? what level of hypocracy is that?) let us try to leave in peace for a while and see how we like it.

hot and humid in sacramento but will be in atlantic city next week for boardwalk people watching. the weather there should be just about right.

off to breakfast, peace to all.

gotta know when to fold them

i have raised from early position to 19 dollars in an one-two no limit game and am called by the player to my left and every one else folds. the flop comes Q-5-2 rainbow. pot contains 41 dollars so i bet 45 dollars and he calls. the turn is another 5. i know he did not call a big bet with a 5 in his hand, he is not that kind of player so i bet 90 dollars leaving me with about 150 dollars and he calls. the river is a 7 and i go all in. he folds and shows me a pair of kings. i had aces. he was that good of player that he was able to reason it through. it was one of the best lay-downs i have seen in quite a while.

i have cold called from first position with AK off suit and there are 4 other players all with just 2 dollars in for a pot of ten dollars. flop comes A-8-7. i bet 20 dollars into a ten dollar pot and am called in two places. the next card is another ace. i check, player 1 bets 15 dollars and is called by player 2; i call. the last card is another ace.(WHOOPS...IT WAS A BLANK..THANKS TO YOU WHO CAUGHT THAT...SOMETIMES I AM AN IDIOT.) i check. player 1 bets 50 dollars and player 2 goes all in. i fold. player 1 had 7's full of aces and #2 had aces full of 8's.

bob and tom are in a hand and bob raises to ten dollars and tom reraises to 20 dollars and everyone else folds. flop comes K-8-5. both check. hmmm. turn is a J. bob bets 40 dollars and tom calls. river brings another 5. bob checks and tom bets 50 dollars and bob calls. bob had a full house 8's full of 5's and almost knew for sure he was beat....which he was; tom had kings full. how did bob know? he picked up the most common of tells. when the last 5 hits, tom says, "i'm not liking this at all." at that point, bob knows that tom has a monster. he has to call with his full house but he knew not to raise.

each one of these hands could be figured out, the question is could you do it...especially the one with kings? or the ak.

the difference between really good players and average to poor players is that good players know how to lay down good hands. any fool can lay down a bad hand or a hand that is obviously beat but the fool cannot lay down the hand that looks just great......but is beat.

off to sacramento tomorrow, see you on down the road.

oh, and by the way, rudy...don't write any more. go away. your posts will be deleted each and every time. don't bother changing your name again, you are the only one out there who hates me and you will always give yourself away. and, by the way, your friend, george in nyc is looking for you. maybe he will loan you some money. you've gone through everybody else here in vegas so you might give him a shot.

michelle for president

the democrats brought a knife to a gun fight last night. it may have been the dullest convention of all time. ye gads, if you can't get your core fired up over the past 8 years and the distinct possibility that we could elect a republican who is going to follow the same disasterous course then you apparently are being guided and adviced by complete and total idiots. i have watched up to michelle's speech and, other than a nice little touch with ted kennedy, it has been complete vanilla with no spice whatsoever. they better bring some firepower tomorrow night. they gave the american people no reason whatsoever to watch any more. they said nothing of consequence. they neither attacked nor ridiculed the republican record of the past 8 years. so far, they haven't said diddly squat about mc cain. they haven't said a word of policy. they haven't acknowledged the millions out of work and the millions more that are hanging on by a thread. they haven't articulated a vision nor have they put forth any clue of a plan. better bring your A game tomorrow you dolts. i am seriously pissed. they are spending the first night self - congratulating. akkkkkk!

michelle better bring her A game. i am off to watch.

well, well, well! WHAT A GREAT SPEECH THAT WOMAN JUST GAVE! go get a copy somewhere and watch it if you missed tonight. fabulous. for those out there who had doubts about this woman, watch this speech and see if you don't respond from your heart. can you imagine laura or cindy giving that speech with that sincerity, that power, that conviction? it was truly one of the finest speeches i have ever heard!

tomorrow, we go after the republicans and their policies.

(if they don't elect obama, let's elect michelle.)

LIARS AND FIGURES AND GO FIGURE

liars can figure but figures don't lie. old saying. still true. the republicans say they are "fiscal conservatives" and the nasty old democrats are "tax and spend" liberals. that's the lie. here are the figures: ronnie reagan 200 BILLION DOLLAR DEFICIT. george bush I 300 BILLION DOLLAR DEFICIT. bill clinton 200 BILLION DOLLAR SURPLUS (WHICH MEANS HE PAID OFF THE DEFICIT FROM OLD MAN BUSH AND STILL ADDED 200 BILLION!! and, of course, last but certainly least, george w. bush 482 BILLION (AND COUNTING) DEFICIT!

these deficits left to us and our children to pay do all sorts of things to the economy including the lowering of the value of the dollar and presses us to borrow money from other countries, china comes to mind here. (the idea of republicans, who for years screamed and yelled and whined and cried about "godless communists" but then going hat in hand to china to borrow money to support their little illegal wars is the stuff of great farce) when the dollar goes down, the price of oil goes up. oh, well when the dollar goes down europeans and asians can come here as visitors but many do not because of our harsh actions at points of entry. when the dollar goes down the cost of almost everything imported goes up. now, look at the clothes you are wearing today, how much of your wardrobe is made in the USA? who made your car? your tv? your stereo? (as far as i know we do not make a single television set in america but we all own one or more). go through your entire house and see how many things you can find that were made here. then flash back in time to the 50's when tax rates for the rich were very high and see how many things were made here in america. ALMOST EVERY FUCKING THING WE HAD OR USED WAS MADE BY AMERICAN WORKERS WHO THEN SPENT THEIR WAGES HERE IN AMERICA. hmmmm. now, we buy a shirt from timbuckfuckingto and the worker there gets zip and the american worker is shut out from even that.

the center for tax policy which is nonpartisan said the obama'a tax increases will go to people making over $200,000 per year while the rest of us would pay slightly lower taxes. under bush the top 1% of the people got 90% of the tax breaks.

when asked where does middle class end and wealthy begin, obama said 200,000 dollars per year and mc cain (the non elitist lol) said, are you ready, 5 MILLION dollars per year. (oh, i know, it was partly in jest but still......)

bill got his dick sucked and lied about it but he brought jobs and prosperity to america. george probably doesn't get his dick sucked but lies about everything else and brought us war, debt, unemployment, inflation and the worst recession in decades. JOHN MC CAIN WILL CONTINUE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF GEORGE BUSH'S POLICIES.

but, hey, why vote for obama? he has a funny name.

joe biden is a good choice but not the one i would have made. i have always thought chris dodd would have been the best, especially if obama was not going to take someone who would bring a state or two (indiana and virginia come to mind). dodd has impecable creditionals and, as far as i know, no skeltons in the closest. the republicans are going to use biden's words against him from the debates though that can be overcome and they are going to bring up the plagerism charge from 88 or 92 i don't remember which. yesterday bidens brother and uncle got indicted on hedge fund fraud. oh, what a coincidence. biden is a good man with a good heart and has been true to liberal causes while at the same time knowing what is going on in the world.

i put most of my hope for a democratic victory in the upcoming debates; i believe that mc same will look to be exactly that. i believe that obama will "wipe the floor" with him in an open debate. mc cains obviously has a tenuous grasp on facts at best and is prone to making just terrible mistakes (psst. iraq and afghanastan do not have a border.) ((psst. osama bin laden is a sunni and iranians are shiites)) etc etc. mc cain is going to have to defend the indefensible, bush's policies both at home and abroad. it's is going to be hard to do.

the republicans don't want to talk about the economy and that is what the democrats are going to talk about in their convention. in the republican convention, you can rest assured the story will be NATIONAL SECURITY! TERROR! WAR! DESTRUCTION! FEAR! FEAR! FEAR!

the dodgers are sucking but, as yogi said, it aint over till it's over.

i must once again encourage you to get my new dvd, LIVE AT 65, which incidently is going to be renamed SHOCK TO THE SYSTEM with t-shirts and buttons to follow. rhonda seems to think that i need to market myself better and she is going to start doing more here on the internet. several of my fans have pushed me to go this route as well.

when i got into comedy it was the very first thing i had done in my life that wasn't just for the money. to the contrary, when i started in comedy there were no places to work, no way to make any money at this. i sort of made a deal with God that if He were to show me a "sign", so to speak, i would do whatever it was and would not worry, in any shape, form or fashion, about how i was going to make a living at it. i won't whore myselve out in comedy. (i was a very high priced corporate whore). i turned down the possiblity of doing a beer commercial that would have paid huge money (they wanted my voice) because there was no "art" involved. it is why i do very, very few corporate gigs and very very few cruise ships; there are way too many restrictions on what i can and cannot talk about. i don't mind the "no swearing" on cruises because my material does not need swearing....oh i use it but that is because it is the way i talk naturally, not to use words just for reactions sake. "pass the fucking peas, mom" well, maybe there...

i don't think i have ever posted just what transpired to get me from corporate to comedy.. i am going to look back over the posts and if that is not in there --- it will be.

well, off to bathe and then to poker room where i have been doing quite well, thank you very much. surprising how successful one can be at the tables when one is playing properly. i have tighten up my game once again, gone back to my A game and the results are very positive. i have been advised to not post my winnings here on my blog and so i will never talk about the amounts i win or lose but will only talk about given hands.

gotta go. go dodgers. (da bums)

mindless ramblings on a friday afternoon.

the attacks on obama for not having enough "experience" are starting to get laughable when compared to senator mc cain's lack of knowledge on apparently all things middle eastern as i have covered before but now john mc cain doesn't know how many homes he owns. what does he know? well, other than bomb, bomb, bomb iran, that is. psst., john, you own 8. when did you lose count?

have to say that my prediction about the dodges may have more to do with my heart than my head; most of their remaining games are on the road and it has been hard for not only the dodgers but apparently most of the major league teams to win on the road.

if TOM RHODES comes to a comedy club near you, take my word....go see him. tommy and i go back over 20 years when he was just starting out and i drove him around to yoder gigs up in michigan. he had hitchhiked all the way from florida to do the gigs and anyone with that kind of commitment to the art deserves all the help one can give. today he is one of the most sought after comics not only here but in europe as well.

rhonda is still quite stiff and sore from her accident but we are thankful that it wasn't worse. several weeks of rehab will probably get her through this. the back and neck muscles are very susceptible to these kind of injuries (whiplash) when you are hit from behind and then driven into the car in front of you, sort of a double whammy if you will.

oh well, it is friday and i am going to hit the pool, go have a late lunch with the aforementioned mr. rhodes and then off to play some poker. so good luck to all of you, see you on down the road.

and it is a tie.

yesterday in the national league worst (west) division there was a tale of two ballclubs, the dodgers and the diamondbacks. dodgers go ahead 3-0 in the first; d-backs fall behind 4-0 in the first. dodgers lose in the 9th 4-3, d-backs win 8-6. dodgers played "see the ball, fumble the ball" and if that failed at failure they then played "see the ball, catch the ball, throw the ball away." dodgers made 4 errors in a game that they really needed to win. it is tough being a dodger fan.

republicans have been in power for 8 years. during that time: we suffered the worst attack on american soil since pearl harbor. we lost 3 huge buildings in new york city that have not been rebuilt. the pentagon was attacked but we did rebuild it. (gotta have priorities) one of the most beautiful cities in the world was devastated by a force 5 hurricane and we have not rebuilt it. (we did send deadly contaminated trailors for evacuees to live in though) we went from the largest surpluss in history to the largest debt in history. we are in two seemingly never-ending wars. our banking system is hanging on by a thread. our housing market is kaput. millions are losing their homes. millions are out of work. gasoline was $1.46 when they came in, now at $3.80. inflation is running at the highest level in decades. our international standing is at an all time low. we are hated and feared around the world. (on 9-12-01, the whole world INCLUDING THE MUSLIM WORLD was on our side) our roads and bridges are falling apart. our educational system is mediocre at best with our standing among industrialized nations at or near the bottom in all tests.

john mc cain voted with george w. bush 95% of the time. (maverick that he is).

with all of that, mc cain and obama are basically tied in the polls.

john mc cain questions obama's patriotism yet john mc cain read a north vietnamnese propoganda statement during the vietnam war. (he says he was tortured into it but lots of american soldiers were tortured and they didn't read propoganda statements...but hey, why question john about this, why we have his word that is what happened and we know that politicians never, never, never ever lie.)

john mc cain was part of the keating 5 but is never, never ever questioned about it. granted, he played a very minor part but still he was in it and it NEVER COMES UP.

john mc cain apparently does not know the difference between a sunni and a shiite but he tells us obama doesn't have the experience to lead.

john mc cain doesn't know where iraq and afghanastan are in relationship to each other but he tells us that obama doesn't have the experience to lead.

john mc cain, in his book (you know the one where he proves he is a hero) says that we "lost" the vietnam "war" because we wouldn't bomb harbors in the north. he conviently leaves out that by bombing chinese and russian ships in the northern harbors could have brought on world war III. he also never mentions in his book that the south vietnamnese were lead by military dictatorships and that there we double digit changes in the so called presidency of south vietnam all brought about by military coups. (he also leaves out that vietnam, LIKE IRAQ, never did anything to us. he leaves out that ALL THE REASONS WE WERE GIVEN FOR WHY 57,000 AMERICANS HAD TO DIE IN VIETNAM WERE LIES!!! THE TONKIN GULF INCIDENT DIDN'T HAPPEN!! IT WAS A LIE!! WE WERE TOLD THAT IF NORTH VIETNAM WERE TO WIN, CHINA AND VIETNAM WOULD BAN TOGETHER AND CONQUER ALL OF ASIA. A LIE. THEY WOULD GO INTO THE PHILLIPINES. A LIE. WE WERE FIGHTING FOR DEMCOCRACY. A LIE. JUST LIKE ALL THE REASONS WE WERE GIVEN FOR GOING INTO IRAQ WERE A LIE. ALL OF THEM!) this is the experience that john mc cain brings; believing lies that lead to the deaths of thousands upon thousands. he believed the lies of vietnam and he believed the lies of iraq. he is either stupid and guillible or he is a natural born warmonger. take your pick.

john mc cain was in the bottom 5 of his class of over 900 and yet he tells us that he has the intelligence and experience to lead whereas that A student who does know where iraq and afghanastan and does know the difference between sunni and shiite doesn't.

and it is a tie.

john mc cain runs no commercials or political ads where he promotes any ideas, just attacking obama and promising to drill for oil (which, of course, won't do fuckall for gasoline prices EVER)

and it is a tie.

we pay more for health care than any other country in the world and mc cain wants to leave the system as it is.

and it is a tie.

mc cains campaign is filled with washington lobbyists, one of whom got 800,000 dollars from the country of georgia, where johnny mac now wants to put american troops.

and it is a tie.

70% of americans feel that the country is going in the wrong direction but half of them want to vote to continue the course we are on.

and it is a tie.

70% of americans want us to get out of iraq. johnny mac is willing for us to stay 100 more years.

and it is a tie.

67% of americans say that the economy is their main concern. john mc same admits he knows very little about economics and basically is willing to continue all of bush's economic policies including huge tax breaks for oil companies. (they are doing so poorly you know)

and it is a tie.

i wonder if the fact that we are the least educated populace of the industrialized world has anything to do with this. we are the permenant bottom of the class when it comes to geography, history, science and math. but hey, who needs to know those things? the nfl season is about ready to begin, we know that.

my real question is why all of these things that i just listed not talked about in the press? why does the press repeat mc cain's charges against obama but never, never ever questions john mc cain on these very serious matters. why are not the hard questions asked of him? why does the press pussyfoot around him and let him make accusations against obama that have no basis in fact? hmmmm. liberal press and all.

oh well.

go dodgers.

column comes true

the first column i wrote for VEGAS VOICE was on how bad the surface street drivers are here. what with the tourists being distracted by all the bright shiny lights, the drunks (we give away whiskey), the losers and, of course, our share of just plain idiots driving on our streets is a gamble in and of itself. so, to prove my point, rhonda was in a car wreck late monday afternoon where she was stopped at red light behind another car and WHAM! she gets rear-ended by a woman whose foot apparently got "stuck" on the accelerator. rhonda was banged around a lot and i took her to the hospital from the accident scene. x-rays were negative which is good but her neck and back hurt like hell which is bad. she could barely move yesterday and spent the day in bed, moaning.

we tried to get doctor appt. for yesterday but none was available. my personal physican's office told me that he does not take car accident patients, something i have never heard of. bizarre. it is probably because of litagation and taking forever for the car insurance company to pay. however, rhonda has insurance so that wouldn't be a problem. but anyway.....

i will keep you posted.

dodgers have, all of a sudden, started hitting the ball (see the ball--hit the ball) since manny came on board. arizona went out and got adam dunn and he hit a crucial home run last night in their win.

shock's prediction: dodgers will win west and then lose in league championship series to the cubs. (but i sure would like an angels-dodgers world series. i have never been to a w.s. game and sure would like to do so before my time here on this plane is up.

(but before you go out and put any money on that remember i am the world's worst sports bettor.)

it was a very short vacation from politics

i was prepared to go home and spend some halcyon days and nights with rhonda, my dogs and the summertime ever inviting pool. i wanted to quit writing about politics and the upcoming election and maybe just write some funny stories to practice for my new writing gig here in vegas but alas and alack john mc same will not let me do it. just when i think i have covered everything i dislike about this man; his flip flops on important issues such as roe v. wade or offshore drilling, his keetowing to the religious right (i don't think jesus would recognize many of these people...but maybe i am wrong, maybe jesus was a bigot....nah, he wasn't...but they are, or at least a good number of them are), his desire to continue the disasterous economic policies of george, the decider, his lack of information and knowledge about the middle east as to the causes behind that cauldron of continuing catastrophies, his use of his wartime experiences as if they were, somehow or another, a qualification for the highest office in the land, his "straight talk express" that puts out lies and half-truths or his lack of knowledge when it comes to financial affairs. surely that would be enough to discourage any person from voting for this grumpy old man. surely. however, yesterday, i found an even bigger and much more important reason not to vote for mc same.

sunday's new york times had some quotes from the erstwhile senator from arizona right after 9-11. (i left the damn paper on the plane so i can only give the gist of his remarks but you can look them up if you doubt me) mc cain was calling for attacks on iraq, iran and syria as a lesson to "those people" that THEY can't do this to us. well, first of all, who is THEY? there were 19 highjackers and 15 of them were saudis. none were iraqi. none were syrian. none were iranian. so who is THEY? john mc cain, like the neo cons in the white house, WANTED TO GO TO WAR over 9-11. he, like they, was not interested in whether or not iraq, iran or syria had anything at all to do with the attack. he spouted LIES about how al qaida had ties to iraq. he spouted LIES about iraq's supposed wmd's. he goes on a navy ship and "shouts" to the crew, "next stop baghdad."

NOW IF JOHN MC CAIN WANTS TO MAKE SENATOR OBAMA'S SO-CALLED LACK OF EXPERIENCE AN ISSUE THEN HE HAS TO EXPLAIN HIS DECISION TO GO TO WAR IN 2002! BEFORE WE INVADED IRAQ, MC CAIN WAS BEATING THE DRUMS OF WAR. AND WE NOW KNOW THAT LITERALLY EVERYTHING JOHN MC CAIN SAID WAS TRUE WAS FALSE. THIS IS HIS EXPERIENCE? THIS IS WHY WE SHOULD ELECT HIM?

brothers and sisters, this is a dangerous man. maybe even more dangerous than bush.

JOHN MC CAIN HAS SAID THAT HE WOULD HAVE CHOSEN DICK CHENEY AS HIS VICE PRESIDENT!!!!! GOOD FUCKING GOD!

john mc cain has tried oh, so mightly, to make this election about senator obama. why don't we make this election about john mc cain? senator mc cain has no NEW THOUGHTS, no NEW IDEAS, he is just another warmongering, lying neo-con who would continue the downward spiral of america. he thinks in terms of war. his FIRST reaction was KILL 'EM! and he didn't even know who to kill. instead of going after the person who did this, mc cain wanted to bomb and/or attack three different countries who had DONE NOTHING TO US.

if we elect this guy, we deserve every fucking thing that happens to us, just as we deserve what is going on today; our never-ending wars and the deep recession that we are surely in. millions out of jobs, millions losing their homes, inflation running amuck and george, the decider, on vacation. elect john mc cain and get more of the same. elect senator obama and we have a chance of changing course but with senator mc same is will be more of the same.

oh, and one more thing on a much more positive level: the troops in iraq are giving money to senator obama by a 6-1 ratio over senator mc cain. the troops on the ground know the difference. they don't want to be there. that isn't what they signed up for. they signed up for protecting their country. not to go kill civilians who had never done anything to us until we invaded them.

and by the way, when are we going to get osama bin laden?

writings from the road and no more politics for a while

what great shows i have been having on this trip, these three towns, bloominton, louisville and lexington bring out the best in me. incidently, both lexington and bloomington have been listed as two of the top ten comedy clubs in america. several times on this tour i have done shows that were all stories with none of what would be called "material". on the late show last night i did an hour and forty five minutes and they still wanted more but i was too pooped to pop so had to quit. a large group that was there had requested some of the newspaper stories and i told them if they came back tonight for the late show i would do them and so they went and made reservations for 20 for tonight. god, i love these people.

a shout out to TWITCH & MARY JANE from the radio show, you helped bring a lot of people in.

the piece about my capture, trial, conviction, escape from l.a. country jail and subsequent recapture has been just blowing folks away. the story will rank right up there with "world's greatest dope story" in it's popularity.

i go home tomorrow to play some poker for a week and then off to sacramento punch line, a great club i might add, and then off to the tropicana in atlantic city. i really like sacramento and have a nice following up there so i am really looking forward to that one. atlantic city can be up and down but the weather should be nice and there is nothing like sitting out on the boardwalk and watching the people go by.

i have started writing a column for a las vegas monthly newspaper and have my first one coming out this month. when i write here on the blog, i don't rewrite, i just let whatever comes out stay. on my column i found myself rewriting and rewriting until i thought it was, at least, presentable. writing is hard! comedy comes fairly easy for me but writing is a booger. luckily for me, rhonda is a wonder editor and helped me a lot.

scratch my comment about the olympics, i am now hooked on michael phelps and gymastics. i have been staying up until about 3 every morning watching and cheering. it is just great!

also, i am probably going to quit posting about politics. if you are not outraged by the bushies by now, surely nothing i could possibly say would change your mind. if you are going to vote republican this year, i couldn't change your mind. by now your mind should be made up so there is no sense in beating a dead horse. i will continue working for senator obama as much as i can and hope for the best. for those of you who want a really good "liberal" site may i suggest THE HUFFINGTON POST, THE DAILY KOS AND THE NATION. these are filled with much better writers than i and they have access to information that i do not.

blogging is just mental masterbation in a way. i never know who, if anyone, is reading this and i guess that i write more for self release than anything else. sometimes i feel that i have something of worth to say but also feel that my writing skills are not such that i can convey my thoughts throughly and accurately and thusly, when rereading some of my blogs, i feel like a fool because i did not say what i wanted to say and what came out was closer to tripe and drivel than words of wisdom.

everything is just hunky dory.

"in the 21st century nations do not invade other nations." george w. bush
"in the 21st century nations do not invade other nations." john mc cain

i wonder why i call him "mc same."

word for word. amazing.

it also amazes me that anyone can look at what is going on in america can possibly think that things are going okay and yet that is what i was told by the l.a. entertainment manager in another email. that he likes america the way it is. i am just speechless, i don't know what to say to him so i just dropped the discussion. there is not a day when hundreds, if not thousands, of american workers are laid off. each lay off creates more economical instability and leads, of course, to more lay offs because there are hundreds, if not thousands, more people that day who cannot buy things or pay their bills. this is happening every day. and every day our politicians and so called leaders do nothing, say nothing and apparently know nothing. we prop up failing banks and wall street firms but the working man and woman seems to be the forgotten part of the equation. george is watching the olympics and then going on vacation and all seems to be at a dead stop waiting for the election. whoever the next president is he is going to be faced with problems unequaled since the great depression of the 30's.

furthermore, the american recession seems to be spreading to other parts of the world which will affect our one bright economic spot, exports.

and every day, john mc cain, talks about "security", terrorism, threats, war, bombs and other things dear to his heart but hardly ever mentions that millions of americans are out of work. obama seems to be aware of the economic situation but does not project any sense of urgency about it. the employed americans have to be living in fear that they are next; we are such in inter-related economy that only the very, very rich are immune from the distinct possibility of personal bankrupcty. and the beat goes on.

(mc cain did have one commercial out that said, "i know you are worse off than you were 4 years ago." but, guess what? his 'people' pulled it off the air)

oh well, see you at the barricades.

JOHN MCSAME, THE ELITIST WARMONGER

the republicans, out of ideas or plans other than drill for oil offshore and bomb iran, are trotting out their fiction writers hoping to paint a picture of senator obama that is so far from reality that in any other democratic country (you know, one where the people read and are really up to date on what is going on and then...horrors of horrors...actually go out and vote) would be the subject of scorn and ridicule. here in partially brain dead america though they are discussed and in many cases, believed. for instance: painting obama as an elitist.

they say that hawaii is only for the elite and so since obama vacationed there he is an elitist. ah, but john mc cain met his wife while on vacation in hawaii. he courts this multi-millionaire heiress while he is still married to a wife who is an invalid. (she is also almost 20 years younger than him.)

john mc cain has EIGHT HOUSES. obama one.

john mc cain owns a private jet. obama travels on airlines.

john mc cain (thanks to his wife) is a multi millionaire. obama has to pays his bills just like you and me.

who is the elitist here? john mc cain has never held a job other than the military and working for his wife. obama worked his way through school and after graduating from harvard magnum cum laud, held two jobs to make ends meet. some elitist he.

partially this comes from the republican side because they do not want actual comparisons made between the two candidates. obama was in the top 5% of his class at harvard, mc cain was in the bottom 7/10ths of 1% OF HIS CLASS! IN OTHER WORDS, GEORGE W. BUSH WHO WAS A C STUDENT AT YALE WAS A BETTER STUDENT THAN MC CAIN WHO WAS A D STUDENT. who do want for president? someone who is arguably more stupid than george or someone who is obviously highly intelligent?

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MC CAIN/BUSH AND OBAMA WHEN IT COMES TO THE RUSSIAN/GEORGIAN CONFLICT.

first of all you must remember this: GEORGIA STARTED THIS!!!!!!! NOT RUSSIA. GEORGIA.

bush and mcsame immediately condemned russia. obama immediately blamed both. bush/mcsame sent american troops into harms way on the side of georgia. obama calls for diplomacy.

ANOTHER POSSIBLE WAR OR TRIUMPH OF DIPLOMACY....WHICH DO YOU WANT?

I REST MY CASE.

p.s. thanks to the FRENCH, diplomacy won out.

p.s.s. today the russians broke their agreement and pushed deeper into georgian territory. what is going on seems to be a push by russia against the united states and bush's plan to have georgia join n.a.t.o and also to put a "missle defense" missles on georgian soil. the russians have historical basis to fear the west, they have been invaded by the west 3 times in the last 200 years and in world war II they lost more people than all the other countries combined.

putin (who is the real leader of russia...the last "election" was a sham) is trying to prove to the united states that russia will not just roll over and allow icbms just south of their homeland.

mc same lectoring russia on invading countries is slightly hypocritical what iraq and all.

still, diplomacy must be the course; war is not in anyone's best interest.

ranting again

i have been out here now for 9 days in southern indiana and northern kentucky, bloomington and louisville and some small surrounding towns. i have seen HUNDREDS of obama bumber stickers and NO mc cain stickers. both indiana and kentucky are historically republican states so draw whatever conclusion you may.

as a side bar: of all the people who have said to me that they are going to vote republican none of them had anything good to say about senator mc cain, their reasons were always something or another against obama. most of those "somethings" were just a repeat of the rush/savage/o'reilly mantra of the day. last night i got an email from a entertainment agent in l.a. who said he was going to vote republican because obama is a marxist. now, i know this man and know him fairly well and have known him for 20 somewhat years and i can guarantee that he has NEVER READ A SINGLE PAGE OF DAS KAPITAL. he could no more explain marxism than he could explain quantum physics but there he is stating, AS A FACT, that senator obama is a marxist. i wrote to him and told him not to forget that senator obama is also a muslim terrorist who will drain our precious bodily fluids.

another thing that is amazing in it's stupidity is the statement mouthed by many that they are not voting for senator obama because "they know nothing about him." have you heard that? they say it and others nod knowlingly. ye gads. senator obama has written TWO BOOKS. senator obama was in TEN (or so, i don't remember the exact number) DEBATES with hillary clinton, joe biden, chris dodd et al. senator obama has a website where he outlines each and every position he advocates. HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM UNLESS YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED TO FIND OUT? it is all out there and has been for quite some time. what they are saying is just another repeating of that right wing propoganda mantra.

if you are for mc cain what are your reasons? if you are against obama, just what is it you disagree with?

oh, and if you are going to say that obama is "going to raise taxes" that would be true if you are a multi millionaire. if you are middle class he has stated he is going to lower yours. he is going to repeal the billion dollar tax breaks for the oil companies and he is going to repeal the tax breaks for the ultra rich that bush put in. so, if you are an average joe or jane and are not an oil company, your taxes will go down. ah, but why bother with facts when you have rush to tell you what to think and how to vote?

actually, i would be for the candidate that said, "look, we are in deep shit here and we need to raise more revenues or our country is going to go broke." every time the republicans get into power they run up huge debts and always leave the country in a bind when they are finally voted out of office. reagan did it, bush I did it and now gwb has done it. they all lowered taxes on the rich and said that the benefits would "trickle down" but, as i have said before, no benefits trickled down to you and i; we were just pissed on.

if you are a woman let me ask you this: do you think it is YOUR decision as to whether or not to have an abortion or do you think that the government should have the right to tell you that you cannot have an abortion? senator john mc cain, who at one time supported roe v wade, now wants to repeal it. senator obama is unequivically in favor of roe v. wade.

let me clarify my position on abortion. i do NOT believe that life begins at conception. i believe that LIFE begins when that fetus could LIVE on it's own and until then it is part of the woman's body and it is her decision and her decision alone to do with HER BODY what she wants. it is NOT some old man's decision to make, it is not a courts decision to make, it is not the governments decicion to make...it is, to repeat, her decision. (if men had babies abortion would be not only legal but free)

senator obama wants a national health care plan. senator mc cain wants to continue our present course. and just what course is that? each and every year health care costs raise much more than overall inflation. we spend more on health care than any other country in the world and we, and we alone, are the only first world country that has MILLIONS OF CITIZENS UNINSURED. the insurance companies and the hospital conglomerates are making millions and we are being buried under health care costs. remember IT IS NOT THE DOCTORS AND NURSES WHO ARE GETTING THE RAISES!!!! we are already paying for health care for others. if you have health care, you pay for it and then you pay for someone else's care every time you buy a product or service. each company that offers health care to their employees adds that cost to the product they sell and that cost is passed on to you and me. a large product such as a car, has dozens of suppliers of parts included in the overall price and each and every one of those suppliers added on their health care costs so you end up paying for dozens of companies employing hundreds if not thousands of people health care costs. if we had a national health care all those costs would be eliminated and therefore costs of products would go down and that would more than offset the small tax increase it would take to fund national health care.

i have traveled to europe, canada and australia and they all have national health care and i never met a citizen of those countries that would not want to have it available for them and their family. not a one. go ask for yourself. you have a computer, you can contact people in other countries. educate yourself. once you really see it, you will be all in favor of national health care. a single payor system. it will work and it will save us billions of dollars. (some insurance companies are going to go under but they have been raping us for decades) doctors and nurses will rejoice because they can go about their business of providing care and no longer have to worry about some insurance company looking over their shoulder quibbling about cost.

(incidently, i do NOT like senator obama's health care plan but it is a step in the right direction. the scare tactics that have been used against national health care for decades has made it very difficult for us to have an open debate on how to move our country into the 21st century as far as taking care of the health of our citizens)

another thing: since when is it some kind of negative for people overseas to actually LIKE our president or presidential candidate? the right wing made much ado about how much europeans liked senator obama. would it be better for us as a country if other countries liked us or would you rather they hated us (as they do now)? co-operation among nations is crucial and we would get much more of it if we were to get rid of the neo cons, which include mc cain, who have been running our foriegn affairs. or is it ruining our foriegn affairs? bush is hated and feared world wide and mc cain would be just more of the same. we need to show the world that we are not the war mongers they think we are. we need to show the world that we want to be part of the solution and not be the fucking problem. an obama presidency would raise our stock world wide while a mc cain election would say to the world that we are going to continue the disasterous policies of george, the decider, bush. which would you want? a world that hates us and refuses to co-operate with us or a world that looks at us as a positive partner? your choice. our choice. let us not fuck it up.

blogging again but with little to say...

i am in middle of two week run through kentucky and indiana, started in bloomington where i did a show unlike any show i have ever done in a comedy club; all stories with no material. (sorry rudy, i got standing ovation...apparently they are of a different opinion of me than you) it was one of the very best performances i have ever given anywhere at any time.

next was louisville where i did 8 shows and taped the last 5 and from which i hope to release a new dvd. (sorry rudy, every show was different and over the 8 shows i did aprx. a total of about 3 and half hours of material...and gee whiz, they were so fooled that they stood as well)

this week i will be in lexington at comedy off broadway which is one of my all time favorites.

i never did like john edwards anyway; his eyes were always darting side to side and he blinked a hundred times a minute. (that is a poker tell that says he is bluffing..the blinking that is.) j.e. always struck me as insincere and slightly on the shady side...seems i was right. how in the world politicians think that these kind of things won't come out is just beyond me. and the gall of the man, he could have derailed the democratic chances for the white house, suppose the little son of a bitch had won and then the news come out! good fucking god. what a prick. (so to speak) to top it off, he drug his wife and kids around the campaign trail showing us what a good family man he was. man oh man.

i have been working on the trail, conviction, escape from l.a. county jail and sentencing story and it is flowing much better now. it is a hard story to tell in a comedy club because, like the world's greatest dope story, it goes a while before the first big laugh and my task up there is to keep the audience with me until that laugh comes...from there it becomes much easier and the laughs come closer together. as in twgds it has a completely unseen ending and, of course, the real power of the story as in twgds it is true. (it probably took a couple of years for the dope story to get to a point where it would work every time i used it) also, the new story requires just the right kind of audience, one who can listen and follow.

there is no way to practice comedy; you have to do it in front of an audience and long detailed stories are, far and away, the hardest thing to pull off on the comedy stage. the comic must be willing to face the silence of a listening crowd. most comics are afraid of that silence because they have always been told you must get a laugh every 18 seconds. (hell, i can't tell you my name in 18 seconds...)

when carlin died several newspapers called me as did sirius radio wanting me to tell them how carlin had influenced me. i told each one that, while i greatly admired his work and had the opportunity to meet him, geoge did not influence me at all. actually, cosby and hicks were my two main influences, cosby because he could tell a long detailed story and bill, of course, because he showed that no subject was taboo if you did it right. back when i was a kid, brother dave gardner was one of my favorites along with bob newhart. (the buttoned down mind of bob newhart is still one of the greatest comedy albums ever made...if you haven't heard it, do yourself a favor...)

i don't know about the rest of you but i am having a hard time "getting into" the olympics this year. (as my young fan, cody, said "bejing is showing that los angeles air isn't all that bad") i have watched some of the swim meets and some of the boxing and in the boxing the score keeping was just horrible. i want to see our basketball team play but that is about the only thing i am looking forward to. i was duly impressed by the opening the chinese put on...it was great! i am also impressed by how pretty everything looks there; i watched a bike race just to see the scenery.

oh well, i will get back to ranting about politics next time.

the man behind the blog

i realize that most people who read this blog are fans of mine and i get very few readers that don't fit into that catagory. i have been asked at gigs why i don't do political comedy since i am, obviously, a political junkie, and the answer is that i can't make my political views into jokes. there is a place for political comedy and it is filled on both left and right (the left ones are more funny in my opinion) from dennis miller on the right to a. whitney brown on the left. on the other hand, i want my comedy to be something that everyone can enjoy which is the reason i don't do anything at all that could be considered racist or sexist and, just for your information, i will not tolerate it in any acts that are in front of me. i want my comedy to unite people, not seperate them. i would like to bring people together, not separate us by gender or race or political views. i have fans who are staunch republicans, i have fans who are black, who are brown, who are asian, who are women (i sell more c.d.'s and dvd's to women than i do to men), who are filthy rich and some who are poor. i get emails from troops in iraq and from people in the peace movement. my c.d.'s have gone to military posts and u.s. embassies around the world. some of the emails and letters i have recieved over the years have been so touching that rhonda and i have both cried over them; telling me how much my comedy meant to their ailing mother or child. i have a 14-year-old fan in bloomington who suffers from autism but can recite my entire first c.d. from memory. (and does a damn fine job i might add). one of my routines on "sin" was used in a sermon by a unitarian minister in the northwest and my "bio" routine has been used by sales managers to motivate their people, that if i could do it, then they could do it...you can do what you put your mind to doing.

i count among my friends professors at major universities, artists, bankers, lawyers, cops, musicians and, of course, comics. (even some republicans make the list, which i know must surprise some of you...steve epstein, who married me (not that way you fool, he performed the service) is a hard core republican and one of my very best friends and someone who would be and was there when i needed him.

so, what i guess i am saying here, is if you are to judge me, do so by my comedy and pay no attention to my various rants and raves that i may post.

to all of you who are fans....YOU are why i get up in the morning....thank you