MY GREAT HOLLYWOOD OPENING
rhonda and i get to los angeles about 4:30 and check into the FARMER'S DAUGHTER hotel, which is right down the street from the theater. the hotel is rather quaint and actually quite nice and we think, "so far, so good." i then meander down to the theater to take some photos before the masses show up. i got an excellent shot of the side of the marquee where it says:
ALL SEATS $3.00!
on the front of the marquee it lists 4 movies, all of which have been out of theaters for months and TOTALLY BAKED wasn't one of them.
the main attraction (other than the 3 dollar seats, that is) seemed to be what took up most of the front signage and it was:
HOME OF THE BIG HOT DOG! (an obvious reference to my dick)
sooo, it is apparent that while this should be fun, it is not going to be a "hollywood" opening. rhonda and i then head on down right at 7 o'clock for the red carpet entrance. the red carpet is about, ohhh, say, 8 feet long and posters for the movie have magically appeared (to be taken right down after we go in) we smooze and i have multiple pictures taken by the 5 photographers who are on hand. after a short wait we go into the theater for the 7:30 showing.....
being L.A., most are fashionably late and so the movie doesn't start until a little after 8.
the lights go down. the screen stays black... but you can hear the first 3 lines of dialogue, the third of which is mine, "you know why you can't get rid of it? it's a WEED!" and then the film stops. we are getting sound, but no picture. they try again and the same thing happens, talk but no show. so to speak. craig shoemaker, the producer and force behind the film, apologizes to the audience and we try again. and again. the audience is getting jittery and i get a big laugh when i say rather loudly, "this!...is a funny fucking movie!" but then, and at long last, PICTURE. and so, the movie starts.
the movie has a plot which is interspersed with stand-up just like i thought. they use a couple of seconds of me, maybe 4 times, in the movie. some from WORLD'S GREATEST DOPE STORY and some from WHY MARIJUANA SHOULD BE LEGAL. the stuff from WGDS is taken out of context and is cut up, so it makes no real sense. the plot is thin but is kinda fun. some of the stand up they use is quite funny, tommy rhodes in particular does a great job. they managed to get in several TITTY SHOTS (nothing like plot, stand-up and titties to make a movie) to give the plot more substance. so to speak. also there are SEVERAL shots of a guy lighting his farts so that flames shoot out of his ass.
my only complaint is that they out and out stole my thomas jefferson quote about marijuana. SOME OF MY FINEST HOURS HAVE BEEN SPENT SITTING ON MY BACK VERANDA, SMOKING HEMP AND OBSERVING AS FAR AS MY EYE CAN SEE. this was printed on the screen and there is a voice "reading it" (i guess for those fans who cannot read) but it is not my voice. they then went on to how many deaths are attributed to cigarettes and alcohol as compared to deaths by marijuana. they use slightly different figures than i do in my act but it was the same sequence. now, how do i know that they stole my quote and did not research it on their own? BECAUSE I HAD CHANGED THAT QUOTE FROM THE ORIGINAL! in his letter to john adams from which i got the quote, jefferson says, "OBSERVING ALL THAT I OWN." since thomas jefferson owned slaves, and I did not ever want to offend any of my Black fans, nor did i want to get into a discussion on slavery at that point in my act, i changed it to "as far as my eye can see." (the quote is for validation of marijuana usage by our founding fathers, not about jefferson per se). if they were going to use my material they should have used my voice in saying it... is my point.
my review of the movie would be a C- and it's most loyal fans will be bevis and butthead types. they bill it as "informational and funny." while some facts about weed are presented, they are not new nor especially "informative." more time is spent on titties than on information. but hey, people go to movies for entertainment, not knowledge. (and nothing is as entertaining to bevis and butthead than titties and fart lighting. " heh-heh-heh, he said titties.")
they are planning on showing this at various colleges and universities around the country (several in indiana, which is odd) but it will probably go straight to dvd from there.
oh, and when i am on screen, every time, part of my body is blurred out. what are they trying to say?
all in all, it was fun.
... and my complaint about the quote is minor, what the fuck do i care? i now have a MOVIE CREDIT. lol. (the farts got more screen time.)
my sincere congratulations to all who got the movie to the screen.
if they approach me about using my material in a dvd i will agree, but only if they use the world's greatest dope story without any editing. (which propably won''t happen). i am a story teller and stories have to be fully fleshed out to be any good and editing strips part of the flesh. (the flesh eating editors strike again.)
and that... is the movie story.
ALL SEATS $3.00!
on the front of the marquee it lists 4 movies, all of which have been out of theaters for months and TOTALLY BAKED wasn't one of them.
the main attraction (other than the 3 dollar seats, that is) seemed to be what took up most of the front signage and it was:
HOME OF THE BIG HOT DOG! (an obvious reference to my dick)
sooo, it is apparent that while this should be fun, it is not going to be a "hollywood" opening. rhonda and i then head on down right at 7 o'clock for the red carpet entrance. the red carpet is about, ohhh, say, 8 feet long and posters for the movie have magically appeared (to be taken right down after we go in) we smooze and i have multiple pictures taken by the 5 photographers who are on hand. after a short wait we go into the theater for the 7:30 showing.....
being L.A., most are fashionably late and so the movie doesn't start until a little after 8.
the lights go down. the screen stays black... but you can hear the first 3 lines of dialogue, the third of which is mine, "you know why you can't get rid of it? it's a WEED!" and then the film stops. we are getting sound, but no picture. they try again and the same thing happens, talk but no show. so to speak. craig shoemaker, the producer and force behind the film, apologizes to the audience and we try again. and again. the audience is getting jittery and i get a big laugh when i say rather loudly, "this!...is a funny fucking movie!" but then, and at long last, PICTURE. and so, the movie starts.
the movie has a plot which is interspersed with stand-up just like i thought. they use a couple of seconds of me, maybe 4 times, in the movie. some from WORLD'S GREATEST DOPE STORY and some from WHY MARIJUANA SHOULD BE LEGAL. the stuff from WGDS is taken out of context and is cut up, so it makes no real sense. the plot is thin but is kinda fun. some of the stand up they use is quite funny, tommy rhodes in particular does a great job. they managed to get in several TITTY SHOTS (nothing like plot, stand-up and titties to make a movie) to give the plot more substance. so to speak. also there are SEVERAL shots of a guy lighting his farts so that flames shoot out of his ass.
my only complaint is that they out and out stole my thomas jefferson quote about marijuana. SOME OF MY FINEST HOURS HAVE BEEN SPENT SITTING ON MY BACK VERANDA, SMOKING HEMP AND OBSERVING AS FAR AS MY EYE CAN SEE. this was printed on the screen and there is a voice "reading it" (i guess for those fans who cannot read) but it is not my voice. they then went on to how many deaths are attributed to cigarettes and alcohol as compared to deaths by marijuana. they use slightly different figures than i do in my act but it was the same sequence. now, how do i know that they stole my quote and did not research it on their own? BECAUSE I HAD CHANGED THAT QUOTE FROM THE ORIGINAL! in his letter to john adams from which i got the quote, jefferson says, "OBSERVING ALL THAT I OWN." since thomas jefferson owned slaves, and I did not ever want to offend any of my Black fans, nor did i want to get into a discussion on slavery at that point in my act, i changed it to "as far as my eye can see." (the quote is for validation of marijuana usage by our founding fathers, not about jefferson per se). if they were going to use my material they should have used my voice in saying it... is my point.
my review of the movie would be a C- and it's most loyal fans will be bevis and butthead types. they bill it as "informational and funny." while some facts about weed are presented, they are not new nor especially "informative." more time is spent on titties than on information. but hey, people go to movies for entertainment, not knowledge. (and nothing is as entertaining to bevis and butthead than titties and fart lighting. " heh-heh-heh, he said titties.")
they are planning on showing this at various colleges and universities around the country (several in indiana, which is odd) but it will probably go straight to dvd from there.
oh, and when i am on screen, every time, part of my body is blurred out. what are they trying to say?
all in all, it was fun.
... and my complaint about the quote is minor, what the fuck do i care? i now have a MOVIE CREDIT. lol. (the farts got more screen time.)
my sincere congratulations to all who got the movie to the screen.
if they approach me about using my material in a dvd i will agree, but only if they use the world's greatest dope story without any editing. (which propably won''t happen). i am a story teller and stories have to be fully fleshed out to be any good and editing strips part of the flesh. (the flesh eating editors strike again.)
and that... is the movie story.
posted by Ron Shock | 11:00 AM
3 Comments:
Was there any popcorn?
Love your persona, by the way what is your fondest memory of Spiro Agnew?
Hello Mr. Shock. I was wondering if you could give me some more information about your source for your Thomas Jefferson quote. I am doing a project in my college Government class, and it would be really helpful to find a legitimate source for that quote.
Post a Comment
<< Home