A Page from the Bovine Chronicles

i've always liked to speak. i do, indeed, mean always.

i grew up knowing i could speak and speak well. from the time i was but a small child, i was the one who told the story of whatever adventure had stumbled upon us. between the ages of 13 to 20, i did a lot of hitch-hiking across america, and many times, would find myself stuck out in the middle of nowhere on some little road going in the general direction desired and the interval between cars going in my direction could be quite long. whenever possible, i would speak to the cows. cows are, in their way, good audiences....very polite.

i could speak to cows who were some distance away and by speaking to them in a loud (but not shouting) voice i could bring them closer. as they got closer, i lowered my voice and they would get closer still, until at last, they were at fence's edge and i was but a few feet in front of them still talking. sometimes, i would do speeches from shakespeare or poems by poe. i learned to modulate and "time" because i was in front of an audience that just loved to hear me talk. i would walk back and forth as i do on stage, and those cows, with their big cow eyes, would follow me intently. the cows were not only polite, but stoic as well. i knew they liked me, but i never really moved them. they weren't excited by what i said but, by golly, they listened to every word.

i bring this up because those cows...were good practice for the crowd i had in atlantic city tonight.